There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
