the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I came so hard my ears popped.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
