Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
There's always time for handjobs
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize
