I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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