On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Girls should come with a carfax report
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
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