she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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