Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Edward fifth and chaser hands
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
