She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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