I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
