Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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