Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
