hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
found the other keg... it's in the tree
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
