I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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