And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize