Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
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