Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
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I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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