Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
