Just fell off a train. Bad.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
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