I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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