NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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