You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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