I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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