I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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