Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
