it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
