Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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