Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
