We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
