Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
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