Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
