i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Randomize
