Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
