I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
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