You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
