you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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