goodnight i made you a song goodbye
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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