so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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