I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
