i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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