were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
