Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Randomize
