Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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