She's JV to your varsity
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
