What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
