from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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