It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
