I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
accomplished twins. life is a go
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Randomize
