my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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