I wanna bring you to show and tell
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
