Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
