ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
