I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
