Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
