This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
