did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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