im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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