did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
