I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
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Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
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I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
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