I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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