It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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