the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
