What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
