thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
