Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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