I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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