remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize