this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Randomize
