just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
