your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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